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Not Just Less Horrible

The Not Just Less Horrible Blog


If self-criticism were a disease, it would likely dwarf other epidemics.

                                                                                                The Fetzer Institute



The Jefferson Airplane sang “life is change…”. Wabi sabi is about appreciating the beauty of impermanence.

Embracing the inevitable changes of our continued living can be a hard row to hoe. One of the cruelest forms of internalized ageism is how harsh we can be on ourselves as we get older.

An important part of aging consciously, aging with intention, is self-compassion. People with greater levels of self-compassion have less anxiety and depression, a greater ability to forgive and are better able to cope with difficult life events.

When are you hard on yourself facing challenges of aging? What triggers your self-critic? Do you think about self-compassion as you age? Do you ever talk about it?

There are several key ways of developing self-compassion, some of which are:

Recognize honestly your thoughts and…  read more



(This column was recently posted as a blog on the Institute Of Noetic Sciences (IONS) website)

I’m reading a book written by David Brooks titled The Second Mountain. In it, Brooks discusses the difference between a career…  read more

The Conversation

This is the time of year when many of us engage in family conversations - sometimes about grandchildren, sometimes politics, sometimes previous generations and who knows what else. Sometimes around the dining room table, sometimes in the living room and, I suppose, maybe even online.


There’s a couple of…  read more


I’ve been a pretty good athlete for most of my life. I played organized varsity level sports through college, and I’ve stayed active over the ensuing 50 years. To this day, I remember specific amazing plays or passes or throws I made, and I can still feel my own immediate…  read more

Seeing Aging from a Different Perspective by Evalina Everidge

Recently, I moved into a wonderful historic building which has been converted into affordable apartments for older people. It has been a pleasure meeting other residents – our ages spanning five decades.

One day I shared the elevator with a petite octogenarian who was holding onto a walker and sporting…  read more

Embracing Our Lives

"A self that goes on changing is a self that goes on living."       Virginia Woolf

Whether we realize it or not, most of us hold the view that in our aging and dying we are trying to make the best of a bad situation. This deeply ingrained view is based…  read more

Age Equity

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” ― Howard Thurman 

Over the past year there has been a lot of talk in our towns about equity. And rightfully so. The documentary…  read more

Dementia Friendly local

Last week I participated in a dementia exposure exercise at River Forest Village Hall. This program was another step in the Dementia Friendly River Forest process. The program took about 30 minutes. I experienced some managed sensory alteration. It was powerful, undeniable and humbling.


Even though I knew the…  read more

The Dakini Speaks by Jennifer Welwood

The Dakini Speaks

My friends, let’s grow up. Let’s stop pretending we don’t know the deal here. Or if we truly haven’t noticed, let’s wake up and notice. Look: Everything that can be lost, will be lost. It’s simple — how could we have missed it for so long? Let’s…  read more

Tear A Hole

The other night I watched the movie The Matrix. I hadn’t seen it since it first came out in 1999, when the Wachowskis were still brothers. That’s 20 years ago. I liked it then, and I still do.

I don’t watch movies at home very often. I don’t even have…  read more

The Wall

The Wall: How the Arts Can Improve Aging from Aroha Philanthropies on Vimeo.

  read more

Houses of Our Youth

The other day I caught a glimpse of myself as I passed the hallway mirror. I stopped and backed up a few steps for a longer gaze. What grabbed my attention was a flap of skin. I know I had seen it before, just under my chin and above my…  read more


Old tree

From The Book of The Garden by Richard Wehrman

The Garden releases its last radiance, not as something failed, but as its full reason for being: to give continually, to its last bit of energetic being. Its giving is its beauty. It is…  read more

Getting Old

Getting old is like climbing a mountain; you get a little out of breath, but the view is much better!

            —Ingrid Bergman

Aging is an extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been.

            —David Bowie

The last third of life gives us the opportunity…  read more

Different “less than” or different “special”

I recently attended an indoor public event, and sitting in the audience, off to my right, directly in view, was an old man in a wheelchair. Can you picture him?

Last week, in downtown Oak Park, I noticed an old woman walking slowly on the sidewalk, hunched over her walker.…  read more

More Than Just Co-existing

I work out regularly at the local tennis and fitness center. I’ve been a member there for many years, and I love their Yoga Centre. One day last week, as I passed the front desk to flash my membership card at the small entry turnstile, I was slowed by the…  read more

laughing man
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